A statement on the quality of Newsweek office equipment:

"We had better printers in Baghdad."

So said one recently returned foreign correspondent to an editor. Apparently they had wireless internet, too. Back here in New York, my mouse gets stuck rolling across my fine composite wood desk.

But I'm not complaining.

In other news, a couple living next to me took a very unsexy shower together. Snippets of their conversation:

Man: "Like, if you got pregnant, you'd get an abortion, right?"
...
Woman: "I mostly write for technical and financial journals."
...
Man: "That was a cute outfit. You looked like Johnny Depp."

The whole exchange tempered my enthusiasm for maritime intercourse.